Start with the guy staring at a refridgerator full of food. Specifically the milk. He's got whole milk, slim milk, 1%, 0%. He reaches for one, than changes his mind and reaches for another. He looks at the sky in dismay, mumbling to himself, calories or taste, calories or taste.

Finally his girlfriend comes in and grabs a bottle of milk and takes it to the breakfast table. He follows her, accepting that he'll drink whatever milk she's chosen. Unfortunately his bowl is between two chairs and he can't figure out which one to sit at. She's trying to get his attention but he's just sort of motioning from one to the other deciding which chair to sit in. FInally she slides the bowl over to one chair and he sits in it with a smile.

She clears her throat and he looks at her. She's wearing a waitress uniform and holds up two aprons. She holds one in front of her, than the second. "Stupid question but which do you like?" Simple choice but he can't make it. He likes both. She forces him to choose. He can't. I can't take this, if you don't choose I'll dump you. He stares back and forth, back and forth. Finally she dumps the milk on his head, throws her toiletries in a bag (show that she has a lot of toiletries, couple of toothbrushes, lots of hair products, etc), and storms off "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff later" she yells slamming the door as she goes. He hears the car squeel out of the driveway.

He goes to take a shower. She's stripped the bathroom of her stuff. There is only a single bar of soap, only a single shampoo, only a single toothbrush, only a single towel. Even his clothes are somewhat similar. He smiles. Well the only place in walking distance to eat at is Joe's so he starts to walk to Joe's.

He walks down the street with a grin on his face. Happy at having no choices. His cell phone rings. "Maybe I shouldn't answer it, maybe that's what i'll do..." It's clear he's gonna answer it though.

He enter's Joe's with his phone in his hand, still debating if he should answer the ring. He looks up to see the place is being robbed. The robber has a knife to his recent ex-girlfriend's neck. "You, put your cell phone down and get on the ground now, or the waitress gets it!"

His eyes go wide.

Or go with your ending of the mugger in the alley which is easier, but the choice is so obvious I'm not sure it plays.

Anyway that's my take. Use it, mutate it, do what you want. It's a clever idea for a short. Good luck.

RJSchwarz
San Diego, CA

this idea sounds eerily similar to the recent narrative short winner at Tribeca, entitled "Superpowers." Relationship problems ending with a mugging/hold up. Except they did it a whole lot better than is being described on this thread.

Watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFF4T5AFiVw

Sometimes watching a good short film can really help.

I watched it, and it was moderately good, though I didnt really feel that the ending was climatic enough. I really don't see very much resemblance between what I am trying to do here and that.I'm sure there's literally thousands of films where relationship problems are solved by a hold-up.

And I'm not quite sure whether to be insulted by your post.

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they did it a whole lot better than is being described on this thread.

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the choice is so obvious I'm not sure it plays.

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I agree with what your saying about it being an obvious ending, but I like the general idea behind finishing with him being unable to make a life or death decision which would be commonly obvious.

I like the girlfriend being on her way to work and getting upset. I can kinda envision that scene as being somewhat like the scene from "Stripes" when his girlfriend leaves him. I want to make it obvious he can't make decisions, but I feel like if I make his character unable to make decisions like not picking up the phone without any reason, unless he's obviously agonizing over it, then it will quickly become annoying, if you can follow my thoughts there. I'm also a little unsure about the idea of his girlfriend playing into his final scene in that way.

A brilliant idea just came to me as I was typing that last sentence. I'm gonna throw it down here as brainstorming, and I would love to hear a response from anyone. What if as an ending sequence, he does something that wins him the admiration of his city,and his girlfriend comes back to him. Either it could be something where he overcomes his fear to accomplish a near impossible task, i.e. a terrorist walks into the open with a bomb, and he knocks him out and defuses it. As he is defusing it, he has to decide whether to pull the green wire or the red wire. Or, it could be something where his "disability" saves him and other people, he's unable to come to a decision and that ends up saving him. I'm not quite sure yet what he could do here, but I feel like maybe this would be more fulfilling. I would love to hear you guys' input.

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It's a clever idea for a short.

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Thanks

"We all have the potential to be great. It is our inability to do so that makes us miserable." C.S.Lewis

A couple of things. First, when I said it was on obvious choice I didn't mean the ending. I mean money or your life. Giving up the money is the obvious choice which is why it doesn't play as well as your money or your exgirlfriends life might.

The original ending of Clerks ended with a robbery and Dante's death. It's on the Laserdisk and some of the DVDs. Certainly that predates the recent winner of a film festival. Ending on a robbery is not even the point. Having watched the linked trailer though I think the ideas are all that similar beyond the most basic ending with a crime. The internal problem in one story is indecision, in the other it's economic. In one the problem is left unresolved and in the other it appears to be resolved but the internal problem (economic) actually isn't resolved.

Regarding your new idea. You might want to have the girlfriend arguing because he hasn't made some important decision at work. Say picking a new demolition company to level the bank street block and make room for the new baseball stadium. He's gonna get fired if he doesn't make the decision. The money he might save is being lost by the delays. It's stupid and she's not gonna hitch her future to him if he can't even make such an obvious choice. Than end the thing with some really bad news that is saved because he had not made that choice. He's now seen as a profit or the savior of the people or something. Say an Earthquake hit and leveled the bank street block. Demolition is no longer needed and nobody was hurt since the demolition teams were not on site. That way his indesicion is the factor that makes him a hero rather than a sudden change in his personality.

Of course depending upon what his girlfriend says the sudden change could work. She calls him a loser. Sometimes you gotta make a decision, any decision and move forward. An imperfect decision is not a wrong decision. Blah, blah. He makes a decision. He's gonna end it. He can't deal with all the choices in life. He's going someplace to commit suicide when confronted by the terrorist and decides that's as good a way as any to die. But of course he saves the day. "Man, with the reward money, you're gonna be rich, you can hire people to make the decisions for you if you want!"

RJSchwarz
San Diego, CA

What you're saying about the choice being too obvious definitely plays. I see what you're saying.

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Regarding your new idea. You might want to have the girlfriend arguing because he hasn't made some important decision at work. Say picking a new demolition company to level the bank street block and make room for the new baseball stadium. He's gonna get fired if he doesn't make the decision. The money he might save is being lost by the delays. It's stupid and she's not gonna hitch her future to him if he can't even make such an obvious choice. Than end the thing with some really bad news that is saved because he had not made that choice. He's now seen as a profit or the savior of the people or something. Say an Earthquake hit and leveled the bank street block. Demolition is no longer needed and nobody was hurt since the demolition teams were not on site. That way his indesicion is the factor that makes him a hero rather than a sudden change in his personality.

Of course depending upon what his girlfriend says the sudden change could work. She calls him a loser. Sometimes you gotta make a decision, any decision and move forward. An imperfect decision is not a wrong decision. Blah, blah. He makes a decision. He's gonna end it. He can't deal with all the choices in life. He's going someplace to commit suicide when confronted by the terrorist and decides that's as good a way as any to die. But of course he saves the day. "Man, with the reward money, you're gonna be rich, you can hire people to make the decisions for you if you want!"

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I really like what you're saying. I am definitely considering all these different ideas. I think I'm sort of leaning towards the latter, where he's heading towards suicide when he changes his mind because of his heroic act. Then, he could possibly win back the girl. However, he tells her in so many words, "I'm making the decision to dump you."

"We all have the potential to be great. It is our inability to do so that makes us miserable." C.S.Lewis