This is a script supposed to be shot Sunday in two weeks. It's a story that can be understood in very different ways.
I would like to get some feedback and thoughts on this. Does it works? Should things be changed and so on.
Download the script from the following adr: http://www.cineshire.com/81053.pdf
I've thought of the following changes so far:
Not make the movie be "from morning to night" but make time lapses...he use more than only a day to do all this.
also then put a calendar and a clock on the background wall, to show this as we makes the lapses.
Does the Donald Duck & Co. works, or should it be something different?
What about the overall impression...do you understand this story without having the clue expressed before watching it? What is your understanding of the story? Tell me.
I'd love to get feedback on this, either by e-mail (projectmail?cineshire.com) or just reply in this thread.
Thanks.
It' cute. No real insight into the character or anything else...nothing strong enough to make a statement... But it's all good...it's just a cute, short piece of celluloid.
A tool for improving the human condition...
We must all surpass eachother.
Draw me after you, let us run.
Clocks and timelapses will be much easier than trying to film around the sun, or faking the sun.
I'm not sure I really get it from the descriptions. Are you saying that the important things are simply less interesting than humor? Or are you saying the humorous Donald Duck is as important as the Holy Bible and Koran?
Donald Duck is trademarked and you probably should mockup your own humorous comic book or something. Either that, or depending upon the theme (that I admit I'm not getting) you could have him read the Kama Sutra last.
A guy sitting around a room reading will be dull. Even if you time lapse of him reading at desk, reading on couch, reading with feet up really high. Reading with feet in pale of hot water. The cuts will have to be fast to avoid being dull. Which means you've got a couple of minutes screen time total.
It might be interesting, but far more complicated, to change the room around as he reads each book. For example as he reads the Bible the painting of the dogs playing poker comes off the wall in favor of a cross. When he reads the Koran the walls go bare. When he reads the humurous book the walls are restored with his family pictures. Thus adding a physical connection to the cerebral bit that's going on. This could even be done more with kids appearing at the beginning, and then less are around when he's reading the Bible, and none while reading the Koran, and then three times as many while he reads the comic book. That sort of thing.
Just ideas. Take them or dump them as you see fit.
RJSchwarz
San Diego, CA
RJSchwarz
