quote:

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Originally posted by emceeMC

go easy on me.

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That won't get you any where. If anything you should be asking us to be brutal.

The concept is decent, but it feels quite underdeveloped. Kid looking for 'internet fun'. Kid loses connection. Kid gets it back. Try to flesh it out next time.

The execution was ok. Still, certain things held it back such as the shakiness of the camera, and the repetitive nature of many of the shots.

Interesting idea, but . . .

1. for me it was overacted and the short never really showed the frustration, the inner state of a kid except his strange facial expressions;

2. Shot composition is questionabble, needs some work

3. editing also needs some work

4. try to shoot more shots from different angles (as said above many repetitive shots)

5. As I said the idea is interesting, but not developed enough. It does have a beginning but the middle and the end especially are kind of disconnected from the starting point IMHO.

Nevertheless nice start and good luck to you!

My tripod is broken, so I had to improvise.

There is love everywhere.

I would be very careful about making anything called "Boredom Reigns Supreme" and then having shots of ethernet cables and routers.

It looks like the guy is trying to buy a hot chick on Ebay which doesn't make much sense to me. Some of the quick cuts of clocks and such are far to quick and really who cares about screenshots of internet sites. At one point the actor appears to look at the camera over and over and its distracting. I also couldn't help wondering what was with the French music when you've got what looks like American posters in the background.

All in all I think the nut of the story is the part that looks like a customer service call. I'd cut this down to the guy surfing for hot chicks. The internet cuts out. The music screaches to as top. Then the horrible automated voice of a customer service phone call system. Then cuts of him trying to fix it with the help of an Indian or Russian accented voice helping. Lots of shots of clocks at that point showing how long its taking. Then the internet comes back on, the music comes on, he hangs up and our hero smiles as the credits roll and the he's surfing for babes again.

Probably 30 seconds, maybe a minutes worth of YouTube depending upon how long you make the call itself but it would have more of a story.

RJSchwarz
San Diego, CA

as far as the editing, think of the composition of the shots. For the first 30 seconds or so, you have a lot of shots showing everything that the person is using and doing. Rather than hard cuts, why not slow panning, and dissolve into the next shot. Move the camera alot closer to everything! Dont even show the person yet. Just get real nice sweeping close-ups of whats going on. Dont show the whole screen, show small parts of it with certain lines of texts or pictures that help tell whats going on. Basicly, tell the story without coming right out and saying it. Once all that is established, then show the person and go from there.

If could give you one tip, it would be to not shoot in black and white. MiniDV/DVD cameras are just not good enough to give you an interesting and well composed image. B+W needs to be lit well and shot on film for it to get that classical look.

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Sorry for the double post, but one more thing. You absolutely need a camera operator, and its pretty sure you both directed and acted in this. It would be easier to find a friend to act in it, then shoot it yourself. You'll be much more pleased with your results.
Good effort still though.

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