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What do you think

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(@thomas)
Posts: 4
Active Member
Topic starter
 

HI
I'm a writer and I'm writing a story, and I want you to say what you think about the idea. Please anything can help.The Title is:
What Happend

Plot: When a young man wakes up next to his brother?s fiancé,
his live starts falling apart. He can?t confess, because his girlfriend will
leave him, and his brother will kill him. The only thing he can do is to wait for
the wedding day and hope he makes it.

 
Posted : 06/09/2006 11:23 pm
(@robi8886)
Posts: 220
Reputable Member
 

comedy or drama....or dare i say even a Dramedy?

"Anyone who has ever been privileged to direct a film also knows that, although it can be like trying to write 'War and Peace' in a bumper car in an amusement park, when you finally get it right, there are not many joys in life that can equal the feeling." - Stanley Kubrick

"Anyone who has ever been privileged to direct a film also knows that, although it can be like trying to write 'War and Peace' in a bumper car in an amusement park, when you finally get it right, there are not many joys in life that can equal the feeling." - Stanley Kubrick

 
Posted : 07/09/2006 1:43 am
(@rjschwarz)
Posts: 1814
Noble Member
 

Sounds a bit like that movie "A Guy Thing". Different but similar.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295289/

quote:


When he wakes up the morning after his bachelor party in bed with a strange woman (Stiles), a man (Lee) presumes he must have cheated on his fiancee. Guilt leads him to try to cover it up in the week before the wedding, high jinks ensue.


RJSchwarz
San Diego, CA

RJSchwarz

 
Posted : 07/09/2006 3:54 am
(@thomas)
Posts: 4
Active Member
Topic starter
 

Is a romance/comedy

I know it sounds like A Guy Thing. In my story i'm focusing more on the family. It would become a family humiliation. With out his brother knowing what happend.

 
Posted : 07/09/2006 12:34 pm
(@rjschwarz)
Posts: 1814
Noble Member
 

It's not bad to sound like another movie but you must be aware of the other movie. Personally I don't think A Guy Thing was very good. I don't know if that makes comparisons better or worse.

Back to the original question, what do I think about the idea, I think it should be a comedy...

  • First, he comes off as unlikable, you have to work on that. If its a comedy make him a joker. secured a ball & Chain to a friends leg for his batchelor party, that sort of thing. Could provide rational (or paranoia) that he was set up and this is revenge of some kind. Is he certain he slept with the fiance and not beside her? Is he sure its her at all. Could be a prank, or his girlfriend borrowed the fiances distinctive shirt and he freaked and slunk off before realizing the truth.
  • Second, we need real jeapardy from the girlfriend. He should really love her and want to marry her and can't understand how this could happen. Especially he loves her sense of humor which could lead to the fact that the whole thing was a prank, or his mistaken belief at some point that it was a prank.
  • Third, fear of his brother killing him is not as strong as fear of his brother beating the living tar out of him and his being ostracized from the family forever. Brother should be a wrestler or football player or something brutal and intimidating.
  • Fourth, our hero needs a confidant (or two) to talk things over with. I'm thinking the married friend he tied the Ball&Chain to for his batchelor party. This person should be the voice of the audience "You and her? You wish" "You're not that type of guy, you may wish you were but you're not." This reinforces his likability. Another angle is he might confess his sins not knowing his future brother-in-law is a Priest until after the confession, "you can't tell, you can't tell! You took a vow!"
  • Last, I think it should be a comedy and at the end he think she was set up by his girlfriend and confidant, then with crashing hope he realizes that he wasn't setup by them at all. Turns out he was set up by his brother (wanted to avoid the ball&Chain trick) and fiance (not sure the rational). Or even further trickyness you could have the prankster be the hard-nose dad he's terrified will find out (or at least have the dad in on it).

So those are my thoughts (notes) from your brief description. I don't know if this is the kind of thing you were looking for or not. I think the idea has a boatload of potential. Feel free to take as much or little of my notes as you want.

RJSchwarz
San Diego, CA

RJSchwarz

 
Posted : 07/09/2006 4:06 pm
(@thomas)
Posts: 4
Active Member
Topic starter
 

Thanx

I guess making it a comedy, might not be such a bad idea.
I'll use some of your notes.
Thanx again.

 
Posted : 07/09/2006 4:38 pm
(@rjschwarz)
Posts: 1814
Noble Member
 

Drama could work as well but you'll have to get notes from someone else on that. Some of the notes could be adapted easy enough to turn things awkward on our main character without making them humorous.

RJSchwarz
San Diego, CA

RJSchwarz

 
Posted : 07/09/2006 6:30 pm
 Gom
(@gom)
Posts: 1
New Member
 

I reccommend watching Little Mis Sunshine and Garden State. I think those films have set the bench mark when it comes to contemporary comedy. Merging genres always allows you as a writer to come up with a more original script, with deeper characters then your usual run of the mill comedy. I have to say, unless you're actually thinking of Direcring the film, forget about it. The idea itself isn't the most original to say the least, but saying that, it depends on how the idea is excuted on film. That comes down to the director. As a writer, you should try and add as many layers to you characters as possible. As for selling your idea, you don't have a chance. Your treatment would be limited to the constraints of the idea, which is simple and cliched. These days it's best to learn both the arts of writing and directing.

 
Posted : 12/09/2006 6:00 pm
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