HI. I AM WORKING ON A SCRIPT AND I WANT TO GET YOUR OPINIONS AND IDEAS ABOUT IT...
IT IS ABOUT A BOY THAT IS ADAPTED. HE IS A LONELY LITTLE BOY. HE IS 10 YEARS OLD. HE MOVES IN WITH HIS NEW PARENTS AND STARTS A NEW SCHOOL BUT HE JUST CANT SEEM TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS. HIS PARENTS WERE MURDRERD AND HE JUST CAN'T SEEM TO HET OVER IT. . . . . THERE IS A HOUSE IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD HE LIVES IN THAT IS OLD AND RUN DOWN. IT IS RUMOURED TO BE HAUNTED... SOME KIDS IN SCHOOL TELL HIM THAT THE ONLY WAY THEY WILL BE FRIENDS WITH HIM IS IF HE SPENDS A NIGHT IN THE HOUSE....HE DECIDES TO DO IT. HE GOES IN TO THE HOUSE......IT TURNS OUT THAT THE HOUSE IS NOT HAUNTED AFTERALL. SOMEONE LIVES THERE......A MAN IN HIS EARLY 20'S...........THE MAN IS ILLERGIC TO THE SUN AND SO CANNOT GO OUTSIDE. HE HAS LIVES HIS WHOLE LIFE INSIDE THE HOUSE WITH HIS MOTHER WHO WAS LOOKING AFTER HIM. BUT SHE IS DEAD NOW AND HE IS ALL ALONE. HE AND THE BOY BECOME FRIENDS BUT HE TELLS THE BOY TO KEEP THEIR FRIENDSHIP A SECRET BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE DESTURBIBG HIM. HE HAS A BACK STORY TOO. HIS MOTHER WAS RAPED AND HE WAS THE RESULT. SHE STARTED TO WITHDRAW AND NOT TRUST PEOPLE SO SHE THAUGHT HER SON THAT THE DAYLIGHT PEOPLE WERE EVIL AND ONLY WANTED TO HURT HIM. SHE TOLD HIM THAT WOULDNT UNDERSTAND HIM BECAUSE OF THE DISEASE HE HAS AND THAT THEY WOULD KILL HIM IF THEY KNBEW ABOUT HIM..........THE BOY PROMISES TO KEEP THEIR FRIENDSHIP A SECRET.
SO, EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL HE VISITS THE MAN IN THE HOUSE. AFTER A WHILE OF THIS, HIS NEW PARENTS START TO WORRY ABOUT HIM. HIS GRADES IN SCHOOL ARE DOWN. HE IS BEING BULLIED AND HE DOESNT HAVE MANY FRIENDS. HE TELLS HIS PARENTS EVERY DAY THAT HE IS GOING TO A FRIENDS HOUSE. THEY ASK AROUND BUT NONE OF THE KIDS SAY THAT HE WAS WITH THEM SO THEY CONFRONNT HIM BY ASKING HIM WHO HIS FRIEND IS THAT HE DISSAPEARS TO EVERY DAY...HE WONT TELL THEM. HE TELLS THEM THAT HE PROMISED HE WOULD KEEP IT A SECRET. ..THEY BECOME EVEN MORE WORRIED NOW.....
ONE DAY AFTER SCHOOL, A BOY FROM HIS CLASS FOLLOWS HIM. HE SEES THAT THERE IS A MAN IN THE HOUSE. A GROWN MAN. THE BOYS PARENTS ARE FURIOUS. THEY GO TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TELL HIM THAT THEY THINK THEIR SON IS BEING ABUSED...THE TONS COMMITEE HAVE A MEETING AND DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IT IS TO DRIVE THE MAN OUT OF THE TOWN. THEY FORM A LINCH MOB AND STORM TOWRDS THE HOUSE....THE BOY TELLS HIS NEW FRIEND THIS. THE FRIEND DECIDES THAT HE MUST CONFRONT THE PEOPLE OF THE TOWN AND SHOW THAT HE IS NOT HARMING THIS LITTLE BOY. THEYT ARE SIMPLY FRIENDS. HE DECIDES THAT HE WILL GO OUTSIDE AND CONFRONT THE PEOPLE...HE KNOWS THERE IS A CHANCE HE WILL DIE BUT FOR FRIENDSHIP HE WILL DO IT.
HE DOES. HE TELLS THE PEOPLE HIS STORY. THE TOWNSFOLK FEEL ASHAMED FOR THE WAY THEY TREATED HIM. THE BOYS PARENTS FEEL ESPECIALLY ASHAMED FOR THINKING THE WORST...THE MAN TELLS THE BOY THAT THEY CAN NO LONGER BE FRIENDS BECAUSE HE MUST RETURN HOME BECAUSE HE WILL DIE SOON......HE BOY ASKS HIM WHY HE DID IT.. HE TELLS HIM THAT THE ONLY THING HE EVER WANTED IN LIFE WAS TO HAVE A FRIEND...AND HE IS SO GRATEFUL THAT HE BECAME HIS FRIEND. HE HAS LIVED HIS DREAM. ...TEARS ARE SHED
THE MAN RETURNS TO HIS HOUSE....THE BOY NEVER GOES BACK INTO THE HOUSE.THE MAN MADE HIM PROMISE HE WOULDN'T BUT EVERYDAY AS HE WALKS TO SCHOLL, HE LOOKS AT THE HOUSE AND WONDERS IF HIS FRIEND IS OK.....THE LAST SHOT OF THE MOVIE IS THE MAN, SITTING IN A CHAIR IN THE DARK...SCARRED BY THE SUBS RAYS. HE CLOSES HIS EYES AND SMILES...THE SMILE SLOWLY FADES.....HE DIES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK/ I GOING TO MAKE THIS INTO A MOVIE NEXT YEAR. I AM HOPING TO GET FUNDING. I WANT TO MAKE IOT LIKE A TIM BURTON MOVIE. VERY DARK.
ANY SUGGESTIONS?/
THANKS
"ONE DAY AFTER SCHOOL, A BOY FROM HIS CLASS FOLLOWS HIM. HE SEES THAT THERE IS A MAN IN THE HOUSE. A GROWN MAN. THE BOYS PARENTS ARE FURIOUS. THEY GO TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TELL HIM THAT THEY THINK THEIR SON IS BEING ABUSED...THE TONS COMMITEE HAVE A MEETING AND DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IT IS TO DRIVE THE MAN OUT OF THE TOWN. THEY FORM A LINCH MOB AND STORM TOWRDS THE HOUSE....THE BOY TELLS HIS NEW FRIEND THIS. THE FRIEND DECIDES THAT HE MUST CONFRONT THE PEOPLE OF THE TOWN AND SHOW THAT HE IS NOT HARMING THIS LITTLE BOY. THEYT ARE SIMPLY FRIENDS. HE DECIDES THAT HE WILL GO OUTSIDE AND CONFRONT THE PEOPLE...HE KNOWS THERE IS A CHANCE HE WILL DIE BUT FOR FRIENDSHIP HE WILL DO IT.
HE DOES. HE TELLS THE PEOPLE HIS STORY. THE TOWNSFOLK FEEL ASHAMED FOR THE WAY THEY TREATED HIM. THE BOYS PARENTS FEEL ESPECIALLY ASHAMED FOR THINKING THE WORST...THE MAN TELLS THE BOY THAT THEY CAN NO LONGER BE FRIENDS BECAUSE HE MUST RETURN HOME BECAUSE HE WILL DIE SOON......HE BOY ASKS HIM WHY HE DID IT.. HE TELLS HIM THAT THE ONLY THING HE EVER WANTED IN LIFE WAS TO HAVE A FRIEND...AND HE IS SO GRATEFUL THAT HE BECAME HIS FRIEND. HE HAS LIVED HIS DREAM. ...TEARS ARE SHED
THE MAN RETURNS TO HIS HOUSE....THE BOY NEVER GOES BACK INTO THE HOUSE.THE MAN MADE HIM PROMISE HE WOULDN'T BUT EVERYDAY AS HE WALKS TO SCHOLL, HE LOOKS AT THE HOUSE AND WONDERS IF HIS FRIEND IS OK.....THE LAST SHOT OF THE MOVIE IS THE MAN, SITTING IN A CHAIR IN THE DARK...SCARRED BY THE SUBS RAYS. HE CLOSES HIS EYES AND SMILES...THE SMILE SLOWLY FADES.....HE DIES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK/ I GOING TO MAKE THIS INTO A MOVIE NEXT YEAR. I AM HOPING TO GET FUNDING. I WANT TO MAKE IOT LIKE A TIM BURTON MOVIE. VERY DARK."
I'm being constructive in my criticism, so take it as that, please. From here down, you start to cop-out. It ruins the film. What if the man never had this allergy...what if he doesnt even act like a man, but more like a child because of the way he's been raised... This could be something, but you make it a real cop-out after his parents find out. The lynch mob doesn't work...trash it. It's just so frankenstein, so edward scissorhands, so every movie where the hero is veiwed as a monster. Instead of looking into Tim Burton movies for a way to go with this, look into Michael Cuesta films. I hope this helps...the parts leading up to where I started the quote are pretty strong. This ending could completely ruin the film and its appeal though.
We must all surpass eachother.
Draw me after you, let us run.
We must all surpass eachother.
Draw me after you, let us run.
hall makes a good point. The whole town chasing a thought to be monster idea is bad. Picture this, the parents go to teh doc and he's only rational thought is, "we must form a mob and charge the house"....see what i mean? its goofy and corny. Maybe you could have the boy taken from teh house while he is playing with the man by his parents and the man chases them out of the house during mid day and he takes the boy from the parents (almost violently because he is sick of people assuming things about him) and he locks the door behind them but then because he has been exposed to the sun he collapses right after he locks the door and the kid is crouching over him crying and telling him not to die. Then the man can say somehting (maybe just "thanks") and dies in the kids arms. Right after he dies the father of the boy kicks the door in and both the father and the mother grab teh boy and he yells at them (maybe "He was my friend and you killed him!") and you end the movie with a shot of teh body on teh floor and the parents with the kid crying in the dads arm, staring at the body. then fade out.
Thats how i would do it. a little cliche but i think you could make that into a very emotional scene with very little dialogue.
"I believe the cinema is one of our principal forms of art. It is an incredibly powerful way to tell uplifitng stories that can move people to cry with joy and inspire them to reach for the stars."-Wes Craven
"Anyone who has ever been privileged to direct a film also knows that, although it can be like trying to write 'War and Peace' in a bumper car in an amusement park, when you finally get it right, there are not many joys in life that can equal the feeling." - Stanley Kubrick
THANKS FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS. I WAS THINKING ABOUT MAKING HIM CHILD-LIKE AND ACTUALLY NOT ILLERGIC AT ALL. I THINK I'LL GO THAT WAY INSTEAD. .. . .
