my first suggestion would be to format it correctly. That will make it easier to read. Dialogue should look like:

AMBER
The fire, that how it all started.

and we need some help visually. Meaning, you need to describe to us what we would be seeing if this was a movie. For example,
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INT. A HOUSE - Night

We see a girl walking down a sidewalk. We can barely see her and the only light we have is from the street light. We see her clearly for about 3 seconds everytime she steps into the light.

AMBER
The fire, thats how it all started...

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A good way to learn how to write a script is too read them. Here is a good site that has scripts you can look at:
?url? http://www.simplyscripts.com/movie.html?/url?

Just look at how they are formated and that should help alot. Also, try to get your hands on a screen writing program. Go to Final Draft is the best but its expensive but you can download a trial version and give it a try. OR you could go ghetto style and just use Microsoft Word and just align everything in the middle.

You obviously have a good amount of dialogue so far but it doesnt look like a script. Because its a movie we need visuals. also if you just search the web for "how to write a script" im sure you will get alot of sites.

"Anyone who has ever been privileged to direct a film also knows that, although it can be like trying to write 'War and Peace' in a bumper car in an amusement park, when you finally get it right, there are not many joys in life that can equal the feeling." - Stanley Kubrick

There are some interesting ideas but this as it is is NOT a SCRIPT its a STORY (ie you are writing a book not a film - there is a big difference).

As Robbi suggests read some scripts and maybe a good script writing book (one of syd fields should give you the basics) that will show you the difference between Scripts and stories.

Be more visual - don't tell us or have Amber tell us. Show us/ Have Amber show us.

Hey, tank koo for the advice. I rewrote some of it here

Obvious home video lighting Shows amber, on chair in classroom

Amber: The fire, that how it all started, the fire which sent us into separate directions for a month, the most life changing month for all of us, most likely because we did nothing, and when you do nothing you do more you thought your head was capable of. You may be wondering who all of us are or is, which is more like a better word for it. All of us is a group of friends, a group so close and so unseparatable we seem to be more of one person then 3, this changed after the fire but we?ll get to this later. If you do part us we couldn?t be more different.

Shows kella surfing and making a hot pink milkshake, but spilling it while amber talking about kella

Amber: One third of the group is Kella or Kate, an eccentric, optimistic, Happy go lucky girl with a strong will which never went with her clumsy and accident prone self. She is also, although quite girly, a VERY keen surfer. If the group was a milkshake she would no doubt be the flavor and out the flavors she would have to be strawberry or tropical, wait can you get tropical milkshakes?

Back to Amber

The next third, or the milk base of this ummm milkshake, is Andrew;

Shows short Andrew doing brilliant, but odd, imitation, and, at a busy mall, Amber being embarrassed about him
he has a psychotic sense of humor and should become a comedian, which won?t work to well if he ends up growing because he?s height is half of his humour. Apart from that he can be very ignorant and is never ever self conscious, which gets annoying ?coz it?s not common for us to get embarrassed, or maybe that is just me coz Kella never seems to get embarrassed.

Back to amber

My name is Amber and after the fire I don?t know myself like I did before, but I suppose that was the same for all of us. I suppose my general behavior is blunt, sarcastic, pessimistic, paranoid, stressed wow I am a horrid person eh.

Shows 12 year old boys being typical and girls being total bitches to the milkshake and while amber says daadys a girl sorth of lips it while act all posh

Anyway we all go to a snobby boarding school with mainly kids who have ?daadys? who runs a ?factory? (well the factory is of children on extremely cheap labour, not machines) in Asia or Africa.

Back to amber

We have been here since we were five, dam can?t I still be five.

Shows Kella and Andrew at 5 attacking amber with their words, and, of course, amber acting shyly.
When we all arrived we were the only ones confident enough to talk to people, well I wasn?t but I let them attack me with there words so therefore we were ?friends?.

Shows kella on bed and amber studying in the same room dorm thing, then Andrew?s name on a door comes up very suddenly.
Ever since then we shared a room, though Andrew had to be kerplonked next to ours,

The three? killing? the man as a five year old
something we almost killed the ?man? over but we?re now quite glad we aren?t in the same room, well I am anyway coz well Kella isn?t or at least wasn?t really aware of gender.

Back to amber
Anyway one wild and woolly night, you know one of those nights when the last thing you?d expect is a bush fire, but that?s what happened. Not only was it a bushfire, it was GIGANTIC one. It burnt the primary school, the school we also go to.

Shows what Amber explains
We watched from kella and I?s window, which thankfully had the best view so, although obvious it would happen, it was unfortunate that it became crowded. Although some people could only just see it through the tears of well some of them were of happiness, some of sadness, most of some powerful emotion that is yet to have a title, how about happysadness? That?ll do. Anyway the fire for us was like a haze, it took a while for it to get into our heads what was happening, the place where we spend most our life, all our art, our literature, it was even dreamy and kind of drousy (if we were awaken by the reality it would be depressing) to see our maths burst into flames as it got to the maths work storage room.
Haven't finished yet of course and yeh I might keep ghetto because my parents (i'm 12) wouldn't even agree, they would barely agree with me using word seeing as they don't exactly support my love for films and the fact i want to do it for a living.

Well, you've added description, but the format is still far from correct.

Did you check out the produced scripts at ?url?www.simplyscripts.com?/url?? That place is a great resource. After you read a few, you'll start to get a sense of the format as well as the style. In scriptwriting, conservation of words is very important, so keep that in mind as well. It's drastically different from writing a novel.

Check out those produced scripts. It'll be a big help.

When you have to shoot, shoot -- don't talk.