I thought some of the imagery was interesting, if a little too dark :). Story-wise it seemed like a typical first short, so I'm sure you will improve from there. The one thing that did stand out as a problem was the sound, which seemed to have a lot of camera noise on it, or something similar; to me, bad sound is the normal sign of a cheap short, so if you can afford to spend a bit more next time, hire a decent mike for the shoot.

Overall, I've certainly seen much worse movies, so I don't think you should be at all disappointed. Was this one of those 'shoot and edit a movie in 48 hours' contests?

Yes, the film was made very quickly and although i was aware the camera (a ?200 job) might pick up tape noise i didnt think it would be as bad as it was! so i ended up trying to make it part of those scenes. Id like to know what people thought of the story as most people ive shown it to dont quite get it.

You need to work on screen direction - crossing the line.

I liked the imagery - it is very David Lynch - with the girls in
red and the darkness. But I didn't follow the story. I assume the
guy is thinking or dreaming after he has killed the girl. But
it's not clear. The black and white ending confused me even more.

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The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.
Joseph Joubert, essayist (1754-1824)

Hey,

Thanks for the comments.

Could you explain what you mean by "screen direction - crossing the line" as im not familiar with that phrase.

Regarding the plot. Its meant to be open to interpretation but its sort of about a guy who loses his mind for no particular reason and starts to believe his friends are to blame. The black and white sequence is a glimpes of when he was happy.

http://paulzadie.com/2007/07/15/the-180-rule/