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Critique Needed

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(@icewolf)
Posts: 9
Active Member
Topic starter
 

Hello all of you. I was wondering if I could have some critique on my latest production.
X

So, have at it, I'd like to hear about everything I did wrong. Thanks!

 
Posted : 05/10/2007 10:56 pm
(@rjschwarz)
Posts: 1814
Noble Member
 

Music worked well and the cuts and such were fine but I'm not sure I "get" the picture. Gone, is the person dead, missing, or just whacked out drugged and gone man. Are the girls sad, numb, or spaced out on drugs man. Perhaps a bit artsy for this simple fellow.

RJSchwarz
San Diego, CA

RJSchwarz

 
Posted : 06/10/2007 6:26 am
 Prim
(@prim)
Posts: 5
Active Member
 

I didn?t get the idea either.
+ Cuts for this kind of music should be faster.
You need to keep your video tempo with the music.

 
Posted : 06/10/2007 5:28 pm
 poof
(@poof)
Posts: 67
Trusted Member
 

ok, pointlessness aside, the edits were too far apart, music was inconsistent and didnt fit, oh and could you have made it a little darker, i could almost see the outlines of the actors.

If just going to film female's without any dialogue then you need to at least have one of thier orifices penetrated. Yep, suck **** and talk, thats all their good for.

 
Posted : 06/10/2007 7:55 pm
(@icewolf)
Posts: 9
Active Member
Topic starter
 

Hey poof, I hear you with the edits, but what do you mean by making it darker? As in, the background should be darker, the subjects should be darker? Is there any particular area that stood out to you with that?

The idea is that it's more of a personal response than anything...if it made you think of someone that's gone in your life, that's what it's about.

Poof, if you're thinking that about my under-age actors, I'd rather you didn't watch. Have some respect.

 
Posted : 06/10/2007 11:25 pm
(@danstin-studios)
Posts: 175
Estimable Member
 

I'm pretty sure poof meant it about film festival judges in general, but I would still say the same thing. If you have a problem with someone, don't generalize to their profession.

"We all have the potential to be great. It is our inability to do so that makes us miserable." C.S.Lewis

"We all have the potential to be great. It is our inability to do so that makes us miserable." C.S.Lewis

 
Posted : 07/10/2007 1:08 am
(@rizzo)
Posts: 157
Estimable Member
 

quote:


Originally posted by Prim

You need to keep your video tempo with the music.


That depends entirely on the effect you're hoping to achieve.

=========================
There's daggers in men's smiles

=========================
There's daggers in men's smiles

 
Posted : 07/10/2007 3:52 pm
(@carlocodamus)
Posts: 1
New Member
 

hey check out my friend's short film, its called black door by steven villaflor. its in youtube. thanks!!
--------------------------------------------------------------
?url? http://www.codamus.com?/url?

 
Posted : 09/10/2007 1:51 am
(@icewolf)
Posts: 9
Active Member
Topic starter
 

quote:


Originally posted by carlocodamus

hey check out my friend's short film, its called black door by steven villaflor. its in youtube. thanks!!
--------------------------------------------------------------
?url? http://www.codamus.com?/url?


Very cool. The storyline was interesting, though I'm unclear on the purpose of the black door and how that fit in? A few things that would bump it up, in my opinion, would be tighter editing at the beginning, every frame counts, so make every edit precise. A few of the shots dragged on a little too long for me. The actors were good but not great, getting professional actors would probably make your production at a higher quality just with that. Another thing....you over-used your angled low shot. It's a shot that's hard to watch, and while it's cool, you should probably have a really good reason for using it. Otherwise, keep up the good storytelling!

 
Posted : 09/10/2007 4:32 pm
(@astralronin)
Posts: 32
Eminent Member
 

Icewolf -- not sure what to think. It didn't seem complete, there's not enough information given to understand what it is about, and it's not captivating enough that the enigma is interesting. The lighting was decent though. I'd say keep working, either at finding meatier stories, an evocative film making style, or both.

carlocodamus -- your friend made a very nice short there. I actually thought the low angle shots served to heighten the tension. He's clearly got an eye for cinema. That's really the most important thing to have when making short features. If you get a great script down the road, you can get better actors, and if you've got short films that demonstrate you can make movies, you can get the money to pay for them. I'd say your friend has a leg up.

http://www.youtube.com/nairnet

http://www.youtube.com/nairnet

 
Posted : 10/10/2007 3:21 am
(@cleary)
Posts: 360
Honorable Member
 

From an audience point of view it was completeley static, from a production point of view I hope that you leanet some thing good from it. Just cause you can make it quick, dosent mean that you should, but thats your choice I suppose. Cleary.

www.myspace.com/b31_film_productions

www.youtube.com/yoursayvideos

 
Posted : 13/10/2007 10:29 pm
(@wordslinger)
Posts: 108
Estimable Member
 

I get the feeling poof wasn't talking about the judges at all... especially considering his advice to film 'nude and see where it goes from there' to the other director who was working with 9-11 year olds.

'In the life that man creates for himself, he too, creates his demise... and his legacy.'

'In the life that man creates for himself, he too, creates his demise... and his legacy.'

 
Posted : 17/10/2007 4:28 pm
(@icewolf)
Posts: 9
Active Member
Topic starter
 

Thanks for your critique everyone. I've learned something very valuable - never hurry a production. I have a way better short that I wish I had the rights to post on the Internet, but that's life. Thanks again!

 
Posted : 03/12/2007 3:50 am
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