is it a feature? im no good with those but if you r doing a short i could possibly help you out.

metaphysics ... time and space

It's just...it's life, man....I don't think it's a short, because I don't want it to end. I'm 16 already and I dont feel like I've done half the stuff I should have....I haven't applied these images in my head to paper.....each character is a different piece of me....I want people who watch this film see it as being SO alive....that they feel dead in comparison. It's probably a feature...but it's just about stuff...I want stuff to have an electricity to it, you know?

A tool for improving the human condition...

haha well at somepoint it has to end. but here is problems i see off the bat with your story....your only 16. If you honestly expect for a 20 year old to see your movie and feel dead then you pretty much have to have superpowers. So in other words you would have to be superman. However you could do one of two things, 1) keep some sort of list somewhere of events in your life you want transfered to screen then when you get older turn it into a movie. which would be kinda cool cause then you could say you seriously spent you life making this movie 2) you could make a movie about a 16 year old, not about life cause frankily man, your 16, you havent expericned life yet. Sorry if thats harsh but its the truth. but i do write scripts so if yo uare interested in more let me know. To sum this up, dont do a movie on life until youve lived it. once again i apologize if this is harsh but its the truth. Nobody wants to go watch a movie about a normal 16 year old. If you have a third eye or your plotting on killing somebody then we can roll with it. but if not, your story wont sell.

"I believe the cinema is one of our principal forms of art. It is an incredibly powerful way to tell uplifitng stories that can move people to cry with joy and inspire them to reach for the stars."-Wes Craven

Who are you to say how much life I've experienced? I've experienced more "life" than most adults...and obviously more than you, given how much you seem to underestimate others. I didnt ask for tips on how to write it. It is already written. I want tips from those who have read it. And as far as age translating into amount of life experience...think about Orson Welles for a moment.

I want the images of my film to burn in your mind. I want these images-its substance and pulse-to be so alive...that it makes you feel dead. Age means nothing. You sound incredibly ignorant, posting something like that.

A tool for improving the human condition...

Oh and as far as "selling"...some things have a more profound purpose than that. Some of the most amazing films are those who take regular people and life experiences and disect them into something as meticulously individual and interesting as the human fingerprint. You're definitely not the kind of person I want to analyze my script. And I also write and create film and have been quite successful in accomplishing what I've set out for. I'm hoping to gain another best of festival in my category for this piece.

A tool for improving the human condition...

you could try being a bit more polite and clear hall, it wouldn't hurt.

anyway, if you post it somewhere, or email it to me, I'd be willing to give you some feedback (constructive criticism).

-V

It's perfectly clear and well written. It is very coherent. I will not be polite to someone who undermines me. I just won't, because that is neither being polite to or respecting me.

"haha well at somepoint it has to end. but here is problems i see off the bat with your story....your only 16. If you honestly expect for a 20 year old to see your movie and feel dead then you pretty much have to have superpowers. So in other words you would have to be superman."

???

Or I would just have to be a very good filmmaker. David Gordon Green made am movie that affected thousands older than him when he was 17...ORSON WELLES made CITIZEN KANE for god's sake. I don't like being undermined and I'm not going to be polite in expressing that.

A tool for improving the human condition...

Also I feel that when adult filmmakers try to tackle stories of modern day youth, they become nostalgic of how they remember themselves once being and often undermine their subjects. It's rare to find an older filmmaker, who has "experienced life", capture the genuine angst and frustration of wanting to experience more and more of it. If anyone even remotely understands what I'm saying, then you're the kind of person I would really like to ask for help from.

A tool for improving the human condition...

orson welles wasnt 16 when he made citizen kane - theres a big difference between being 16 and in your 20s - its quite arrogant to say you have experienced life, believe me your perception changes when you get older no matter what anyone says - how would you know? you havent EXPERIENCED being an adult so you have absolutely no frame of reference. sorry i have to say this, but your story sounds like a self indulgent vanity piece which mirrors about 95% of student filmmakers output.

consider what welles had achieved before even shooting kane - your entitled to be arrogant when you have achieved something.

you may think you are the 'voice of a generation' but maybe when you mature a bit you will realise that regardless of generations everyone goes through essentially the same struggle at your age.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hall_?ss1088
I will not be polite to someone who undermines me. I just won't, because that is neither being polite to or respecting me.

---

Please, at least try. When you are polite and respectful to people you think are being disrespectful, you appear to be a much bigger person. If the only way you can counter disrespect is by being disrespectful in return, what does that say about you?

Age and life experience DO mean something. You know more now than you did when you were 10. And you will no more when you?re 25 than you do now.

Maybe if you are more open to discussion and hearing the opinions of others - even if you don?t like what you hear - more people will be interested in helping.

=============================================
The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.
Joseph Joubert, essayist (1754-1824)

Hall, i think either you misunderstood my post or i just wrote it with a mean tone to it. I really didnt mean any disrespect i was kinda playin devils advocate. I guess the point i was making was this, i just dont see any conflict in your story. Maybe im mssing something. Like, did you have a tragic death in the family, do you have a terminal illness, or is there some sort of love issue in your life? you know what i mean? in order for it to be a succesful movie and for it to mean something there has to be conflict other wise we are just watching somebody sit around and talk to there friends. I would like to read your script. I am not a narrow minded individual its just when i hear a 16 year old talk about his life and what he has experienced can blow most 20 year olds out of the water...i dont care who you are, thats a very bold statement. a 16 year old who has done more then most adults would be, Gilbert Grape from whats eating Gilbert Grape. Now maybe your life is like that, but you didnt say and havent said why you are more "experienced". It also reminds me a little bit about how i felt when i was a 16 year old, and believe me I went through alot of s**t in the early stages in my life (please dont make me list them). Every 16 year old thinks they know all. So age DOES make a difference. I am not, i repeat, I AM NOT saying that a 16yr old cant make a good movie. It's more or less that you want to make a movie about your life when you haven't lived the majority of your life yet. also, im not saying you havent experienced stuff cause it seems you have, but then make a movie about the experience rather then life in general.

so, whats the conflict in your story? and im sorry if i sounded like a (fill in your favorite word)

ps. your all gung ho about this orson wells being 16 when he made citzen cane...he was born in 1915 and the movie came out in 1941.....he was 26...a much better age to "experience life"

"I believe the cinema is one of our principal forms of art. It is an incredibly powerful way to tell uplifitng stories that can move people to cry with joy and inspire them to reach for the stars."-Wes Craven

Have you ever seen George Washington? There was no conflict in that...of course there will be tension...there will be things. But its about something more. And you havent even read it yet so you dont know what its about.

A tool for improving the human condition...

And I never once said Orson Welles was 16 when he made Citizen Kane. I was implying that many felt he was too young to have experienced life yet to tackle the character he did. Oh and he was also much younger than 26 when he made the film because its release was postponed for years. And it's not "this orson welles" like he's some obscure figure. It's Orson Welles,,,one of the most revolutionary filmmaker EVER.

A tool for improving the human condition...

alright obviously i struck some cord in my first post that you arent going to let go. but i am now curious about the plot of your movie, besides its about what you have experienced thus far in life. i just want ot know what the tensio, conflict, or whatever you want to call it is in your story.

and i am aware that welles was (during his time) gods gift to film making....the jimi hendrix of film if you will

"I believe the cinema is one of our principal forms of art. It is an incredibly powerful way to tell uplifitng stories that can move people to cry with joy and inspire them to reach for the stars."-Wes Craven