Hi, new to the forum and looking for feedback on my work. I have three shorts completed in varying genres and I'm looking for comments from you kind people.
Also, if any screenwriters out there liked any of the shorts and are interested, in working on similar scripts with me please leave a note with an email address.
Film 1: Remus' Moralless Matchsticks (119mb - Avi)
http://files.filefront.com/Remusavi/;4445509;;/fileinfo.html
Premise:
A short, comedy, fantasy tale about a couples encounter with a mystical Irish man.
Film 2: Gruff (4mb - Wmv)
http://files.filefront.com/Gruffwmv/;5161311;;/fileinfo.html
A short horror re-work of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. Filmed in the Carlisle woodland, drawing character influences from Nosferatu and stylistic influences from the Judderman adverts, this film tells the story of 3 strange creatures confronted by a troll. No Dialogue.
Film 3: Housebound (16.5mb - Wmv)
http://files.filefront.com/Houseboundwmv/;5161346;;/fileinfo.html
Another horror film set in the 1920's. A young man neglects his sick wife allowing her to die, to let him move on with his life. After allowing her to pass away the young man soon finds escaping his sick wife was not as simple as he'd hoped.
Thanks for watching, looking forward to hearing your responses.
Steve
yeah, these aren't working guy.
www.maketradefair.com
www.thehungersite.com
www.oxfam.ca
www.maketradefair.com
www.thehungersite.com
www.oxfam.ca
Fixed, if you'd be kind enough to try again 🙂
i've only watched the last two... but i really enjoyed both of them.
solid editing/composition/etc... i thought the card idea for the intro was particularly ingenius.
both very well made.
www.maketradefair.com
www.thehungersite.com
www.oxfam.ca
www.maketradefair.com
www.thehungersite.com
www.oxfam.ca
quote:
Originally posted by ourkid
?red?i've only watched the last two... but i really enjoyed both of them.solid editing/composition/etc... i thought the card idea for the intro was particularly ingenius.
both very well made.
Thanks for watching and for the kind words. What I'm really looking for however is a critique of the areas that are falling short as I'm going to be working on a longer film around a similar concept and I want to try and tighten up on as many areas as possible. If anyone can help me out with a critique then I'd appreciate it greatly. 🙂
well, as for the horror short with the cards, the transitions are somewhat sudden... that might be a necessity because the film is so short, but maybe a more gradual build-up would be more in order... anticipation is always a lot scarier than the eventual pay-off.
www.maketradefair.com
www.thehungersite.com
www.oxfam.ca
www.maketradefair.com
www.thehungersite.com
www.oxfam.ca
only watched gruff - I like the shooting style. some of the story uses text, and this is a bit rough to read on a small resolution video.
I like the style of the sound. Since the characthers don;t say much, maybe you could use the sounds as more of a narrative, and add some additional contrast to the film.
Hi.
I liked Gruff. Good moody music and atmosphere. No real comments because it was really quite short. I thought the direction was good.
Reminded me of The Ring and The Descent.
Saw remus and have to say, I just wasn't impressed at all it just lacked anything to be honest. No Offence I hope. Technically it looked good but as for the story, it didn't really appeal to me in anyway and there was no real direction apart from the camera being pointed at the actors and I know you probably couldn't do much more with it.
At the end of the day at least you are doing what Id like to do and expreiment with the camera.
Will let the other one download now...
Can you give me a bit of info about yourself, Im just curious as to how you got to where you are today, which is a lot more than others.
D
I think I have it.
The thing I see with a lot of these types of shorts is lack of camera movement. Every shot seems to be static, cutting from one shot to the next and I think a it of movement from the camera would go along way. Especially in Gruff, it could really help set the mood if done correctly.
I know you have camera shake to worry about, but you could possible invest in something to aid that for a small expense.
D
quote:
Originally posted by RZ-1
only watched gruff - I like the shooting style. some of the story uses text, and this is a bit rough to read on a small resolution video.I like the style of the sound. Since the characthers don;t say much, maybe you could use the sounds as more of a narrative, and add some additional contrast to the film.
It's always nice when people notice the style you're going for 🙂 with the sound we didn't want to have it overly synchronised with the film as I feel it would have taken away from the moody feel of the film. All the sound was ADR'd after the shoot so the sound was deliberately loose in places (such as the trolls roar) to keep continuity with the stuttered look of the film. Thanks for commenting.
quote:
Originally posted by ourkid
well, as for the horror short with the cards, the transitions are somewhat sudden... that might be a necessity because the film is so short, but maybe a more gradual build-up would be more in order... anticipation is always a lot scarier than the eventual pay-off.
I did wonder that too, whether the card section could have been more clear. As I wasn't too involved with the creative side on this piece being the producer and tied up with organising numerous other aspects a lot of sections of this film are very different to the direction I would have taken it, but part of working with people is allowing some give and take and I'm still hugely proud of this film. Thanks again for the follow up comment.
quote:
Originally posted by TheManWithNoName
Hi.I liked Gruff. Good moody music and atmosphere. No real comments because it was really quite short. I thought the direction was good.
Reminded me of The Ring and The Descent.Saw remus and have to say, I just wasn't impressed at all it just lacked anything to be honest. No Offence I hope. Technically it looked good but as for the story, it didn't really appeal to me in anyway and there was no real direction apart from the camera being pointed at the actors and I know you probably couldn't do much more with it.
At the end of the day at least you are doing what Id like to do and expreiment with the camera.
Will let the other one download now...
Can you give me a bit of info about yourself, Im just curious as to how you got to where you are today, which is a lot more than others.
I think I have it.
The thing I see with a lot of these types of shorts is lack of camera movement. Every shot seems to be static, cutting from one shot to the next and I think a it of movement from the camera would go along way. Especially in Gruff, it could really help set the mood if done correctly.
I know you have camera shake to worry about, but you could possible invest in something to aid that for a small expense.
D
Don't feel bad about being negative, I expect people on here to feel free to be as critical as they wish. Remus was my first real attempt at directing a team and the run up to the shoot wasn't at all smooth as we originally started with an entirely different film that later became apparent was to ambitious, trial and error certainly is a huge part of film making when you're very much in the learning boat like myself.
The reason that the majority of the films don't have a camera that dramatically moves is because of set restraints. Remus was especially problematic as it was shot in 2 rooms and one exterior shot. The moving shots unfortunately went unnoticed such as the jib shot with the jenga and the tracking shots. Like you said though it is all experimental and it's a great feeling when you see a project you've been working on come together 🙂
Well the truth is I haven't really got anywhere. I work in a production house in Leeds called Mezzo Films as a runner, I work for free but it's worth it as it gives me a chance to use some great equipment and get a feel for how to make money out of this business. I went to Stafford film school which taught me alot of technical skills and aloud me to progress alot quicker than I would otherwise. At the moment I'm trying to write as much as possible, pitch my idea to anyone and everyone (although still in the early development stages) to try and get as much help as possible for my next project and doing the short film festival circuit with the 3 films you've just watched.
Tell me a bit about yourself and what you want to get involved in as you live quite close to me so if you're interested you can get involved in my next project.
*
Tell me a bit about yourself and what you want to get involved in as you live quite close to me so if you're interested you can get involved in my next project.
*
Hi Again. Id be interested in your new project. At the moment I work in IT but would love a change of career into film directing. Passionate about film. The only way I could see that happening would be to write and direct something. I know Im jumping into the deep end but for me thats the best way and I would rush anything, Id be ready.
Anyway. Working on a script at the moment, it's seems to be progressing slowly but I think it would be the direction of it that adds to the story. Who knows, we can but dream. I always said Id write one before thirty so 1 year left to get it done..
Anyway, if you need any help let me know. Ill read the script, attempt to act and hold microphones 🙂 It's all good experience for me.
My mail is darius_sutherland?hotmail.com
Cheers
What camera have you been using for the shorts / lighting setup. Think that might be my last question...Oooh...Editing S/W
Cheers Again.
Probably going to do at least one short film course at the london film academy too, for a bit of fun / experience..
quote:
Originally posted by TheManWithNoName
*
Tell me a bit about yourself and what you want to get involved in as you live quite close to me so if you're interested you can get involved in my next project.
*Hi Again. Id be interested in your new project. At the moment I work in IT but would love a change of career into film directing. Passionate about film. The only way I could see that happening would be to write and direct something. I know Im jumping into the deep end but for me thats the best way and I would rush anything, Id be ready.
Anyway. Working on a script at the moment, it's seems to be progressing slowly but I think it would be the direction of it that adds to the story. Who knows, we can but dream. I always said Id write one before thirty so 1 year left to get it done..
Anyway, if you need any help let me know. Ill read the script, attempt to act and hold microphones 🙂 It's all good experience for me.
My mail is darius_sutherland?hotmail.com
Cheers
What camera have you been using for the shorts / lighting setup. Think that might be my last question...Oooh...Editing S/W
Cheers Again.
All the shorts you've watched have been shot using 2 Canon XL1 cameras. As for lighting gruff just used a reflecter as we had great natural light on the day and Housebound and Remus used 2 sachtlers, 2 Red Heads a reflecter and lots of scrim and gels to distil the light in places.
Editing is a bit of a conundrum at the moment. Final Cut Pro seems to be the most popular (and I'm sure it will soon overtake Avid if it has not already in most places). However I've never been a fan of macs and the Avid editing set up feels very dated compared to a lot of the others so software of choice at the moment would be Song Vegas, combined with Adobe after effects.
As you're involved in IT I'm sure you'd pick up the whole editing process extremely quickly as a lot of people find when starting out that the one thing that holds them back from making a smooth edit is the lack of knowledge in the software.
Are you on Msn or just email? At the moment I'm looking to bounce ideas off people so I'll send you an email detailing some of them shortly. It'd be good to hear how you're getting on with your script too 🙂
Just email at the mo, Im on MSN but don't use it much.
Yeah get in touch when your ready.
Cheers.
quote:
Originally posted by TheManWithNoName
Just email at the mo, Im on MSN but don't use it much.Yeah get in touch when your ready.
Cheers.
Hey,
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, the work really came down over the past few days, I've send you an email with the ideas for the next script.
